Thank you, sister.
I feel grateful for the obstacles that have come my way and for the strength to face them. The mindset I have now has allowed me to see the advantage behind each bump in the road: the lessons and the experience that remain after the storm, the “pot of gold” beneath each rainbow.
Today I am facing a situation that has made me reconsider something I had already taken as a belief. That is, I was convinced that I understood and rationally accepted letting go of what is beyond our control, and respecting everyone’s freedom. Simple… until it meant letting go of my younger sister. I don’t want to go into details, since it is not mine alone to tell. She wants to move to another country, and I saw many reasons why it wasn’t a good idea.
I spoke with all the parties involved (my sister is underage, so that meant talking to our parents), and, as often happens when trying to confront reality and different wills, all I managed to do was suffer. It comforts me, at least, to know the reason for my pain and to see how simple (though not easy) it is to resolve this conflict that I myself have created.
I shouldn’t worry about my sister, because that would almost be assuming—or even wishing—that something might go wrong. But it’s hard to let her go because it feels like I’m giving up on her. After painfully discussing this matter with my aunt, I walked down the only path I know in this place where I am vacationing. I sat on a bench outside the church, and after finishing a conversation with my parents on the phone, I sat alone in silence. I felt at peace, unwilling to leave. The sun, the wind, the emerald mountains, the stone and charcoal houses, all of it wrapped around me like a embrace.
When I lifted my gaze, there was a sign with this quote from Matthew: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
It seemed ironic, and yet comforting. I felt ready to return, for what I longed for was not to remain sitting on that stone under the sun, but to carry that peace within me. I walked back along the vineyards, ready to continue with my day.
I’m afraid I don’t have an ending for this reflection, as it is not over yet. I think I should apologize to my sister for having called her upset, and try not to change her mind, but rather to understand her reasons and practice patience and empathy.